it's jokes

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

How do you get a cow to eat?

Give it mooshrooms!

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.

It's my fort knight.

Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...

How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Why do people love camping?

Because it's in tents!

Where does the resistor go after a long day?

It goes Ohm.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.