it's jokes
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O