it's jokes
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
It's true though
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.