it's jokes
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses