it's jokes

Draw

    • My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

    *draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

    "What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

    Building

    • me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.

    A grayscale image of a stuffed dolphin with a tie around its neck. It has a single tear under its eye. Text below says: "And they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you're fine when you're not really fine."
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    • it's memes

    Starvation

    • Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

    Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

    Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

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    • Quarrel

    • I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

    I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

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    • 9/11

    • What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

    Smash.

    (Get it?) 9/11.

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    • Foreskin

    • Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

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    • Blonde

    • A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

    The lady says, "Come again!"

    The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

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    • Job

    • It’s true women do make less money than men.

    But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

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