it's jokes
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.