it's jokes

Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

SPOILER ALERT...

I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.

Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.