it's jokes
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.