it's jokes
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
It was 9/10.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."