it's jokes
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 😂
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.