it's jokes
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!