it's jokes
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."