it's jokes

How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."

I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."

Lick my balls.

Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?

It was afraid of the nutcracker.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

Damn, y'all hit it hard with orphan jokes.

Inela, your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?

Because it's the average class size.