it's jokes
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
How do you kill a tranny?
Misgender it to death.
So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.
I said, "No, they don't have double doors."
Why'd the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
I'm inventing a new glue and calling it "Six Seven"... it's a chemical brainrott.
Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.