it's jokes
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!