IT jokes
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when he made it RAIN in the club.
Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: What’s ligm...
Sensei: 😈
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)