IT jokes
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.