IT jokes
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
You are the special
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.