IT jokes
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.