IT jokes

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

How do you punish a blind person?

Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.

Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

What’s it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Why don’t I like shafting?

It feels squishy.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!