IT jokes
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.