IT jokes
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.