IT jokes

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

Sister: I don't want to do it, but...

Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.