Investigation jokes
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"