Investigation jokes

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"