Intimacy jokes

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.

Want to have sex?

I think I need to kiss your butt.

What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

Putting the nappy on afterwards.

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

What does a lesbian call the other during sex?

Mummy.

How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.

"Fuck me."

That's what she said.

Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!

So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.

Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.

PENIS PENIS

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"

I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }

I like to watch porn too ;)

What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.