Intimacy jokes
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
I think I need to kiss your butt.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
Want to have sex?
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
"Fuck me."
That's what she said.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.