Intimacy jokes

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

(I am still a single young virgin.)

Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?

'Cause they are just boys.

What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

Putting the nappy on afterwards.

I think I need to kiss your butt.

My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.

Want to have sex?

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

"Fuck me."

That's what she said.

What does a lesbian call the other during sex?

Mummy.

How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.

Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!

So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.

Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.

PENIS PENIS

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."