Internet jokes

Q: What does LMAO mean?

A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

How do trees get online? -- They just log in.

A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

What were Steven Hawking's last words?

Error 404 File Not Found.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.

Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

Guy: "Yup"

Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.