Intelligence jokes

Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

You pull the pin and throw it back!

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

What do the initials CIA stand for?

Central Intelligence of A**holes.

You really put the R in special.

Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Why do Asians excel at math?

Because their dog can never eat their homework.

Dumb person: Wat idk mean?

Person 1: I don’t know.

Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.

Person 1: Wait idk means--

Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?

Googol: I don’t know.

Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.