Intelligence jokes
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
All dumbs aren't blonde.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
You have more chin than brain cells!
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!