Intelligence jokes
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!