Intelligence jokes
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Blondies.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner? You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What do you call an autistic army special forces?
You have more chin than brain cells!