Intelligence jokes

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

All dumbs aren't blonde.

Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!

Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection!"

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

You have more chin than brain cells!

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?

Her crayons are still wet.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?