Intelligence jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
What do you call a retard?
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."