Insult jokes

My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.

Your nan's bald.

What's one way to drain someone's ego?

Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.

You're an apple. Now suck my dick!

Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

Vortex: "You'll do what?"

Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

I fucked your girl.

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

* * *

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

din mamma

Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

"Baka Johnny, fat baka."

You're gay.