Insult jokes

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A. Ask your mother.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.

Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.