Insult jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

Dear Slim Shady,

balls.

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.