Insult jokes

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.