Insult jokes

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.