Insult jokes

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.

Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

A girl said she liked dogs. I called her a bitch.

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

You are so ugly my man died.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

Yo, your hairline is so small that you're bald.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Yo mama is Obama.

"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

You are so dumb.