Insult jokes
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
"Why is your head big?"
"'Cause you're a ball."
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Your mother.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Your mum's foreheads.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Ur face.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.