Insult jokes

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

"Why is your head big?"

"'Cause you're a ball."

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

Vortex: "You'll do what?"

Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

Your momma! OHHHHH!

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Your mother.

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Your mum's foreheads.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Ur face.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

Yo mama joke.