Insult jokes
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
"Why is your head big?"
"'Cause you're a ball."
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Your mother.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(