INS jokes
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!
So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.
Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)
Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.
So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)