INS jokes

Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.

Why did the clock eat so fast?

He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?

All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.

They run and play along the streets of Gold.

Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...

Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"

Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"

Why can't Jordan moan?

Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.

A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

He was snowed in.

Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

He's got some "sweet" moves!

I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.

What do you call a baby in an elevator?

Lubrication.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.

What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.