INS jokes
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.