INS jokes
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!
I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Ayo, who's online :')
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.