INS jokes
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
He's in a wheelchair.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.