INS jokes
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.