INS jokes
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
People should stop making jokes about major tragedies. My dad died on 9/11...
He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What is the only video game to be ever made in Africa?
Where's My Water?
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.