INS jokes

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.

How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11!

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?

Consensual Rapper 7.

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.

What do you need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record.

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.