INS jokes
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Water, tastes that one tap in school:
A tier water at 3 am.
S tier.
12 pm water f tier.
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.
Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"