INS jokes
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.