INS jokes

Johnny

    • One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

    No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

    His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

    Letter

    • After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

    ...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

    370HSSV 0773H

    All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

    One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

    "Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

  • 5

    • Libertarian

    • 👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

    A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

  • 1
    • INS memes

    Suicide

    • Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

    10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

    Fat

    • This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

    Face

    • Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!

    Dad

    • Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

    Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

    Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

    Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

    Teacher: What was that?

    Alex: Flew the plane.

  • 5

    • Orphan

    • At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

    Funeral

    • Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

    Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

    Forehead

    • Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

    If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

    Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

    Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

    Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

  • 3

    • Question

    • Here [are] some questions firesharky:

    1. What color hair do u have?

    2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

    3. What state [were] u born in?

    Do not say I don't know.