INS jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
Your family in a nutshell.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.