INS jokes
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
I am sorry, but the joke is in Urdu, which I cannot process. Please provide the joke text in English.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.