INS jokes
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!