INS jokes
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."