INS jokes
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite place in Fortnite? The reboot van.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.